Diary of Torment
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: Someone is pranking Professor Snape. So he decides the best way to figure out who is to map out the pranks as they happen. Who is doing it? Who knows.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Diary of Torment

Summary: Someone is pranking Professor Snape. So he decides the best way to figure out who is to map out the pranks as they happen. Who is doing it? Who knows.

**Notes: Yes it's inspired by Potter Puppet Pals. Snape's Diary is so cute! I felt like working with the idea of Snape writing in a diary. At first I thought of it being read at a Death Eater meeting. But then I hit on this idea and I decided to do this. I might be rusty on my Harry Potter fics so please forgive that and enjoy. And if you have a pranking idea you'd like to suggest, feel free. I'm open.**

After a long day of snapping at students and grading exams, Severus Snape sat down in his study. He had wanted to go to bed but the day had been an odd one and he wanted to think through it. He reached for a roll of parchment in the bottom drawer of his desk, but then his fingers brushed against an old Muggle spiral notebook he had confiscated from a first year Hufflepuff while in one of his bad moods.

Coming to the conclusion that his Slytherin purebloods would not bother to read something Muggle related he opened it, grabbed a quill, and began to write.

_Day 1: 11:52 P.M._

_It seems I have acquired some sort of pranking tormentor. My first suspicions included the Weasley twins and Peeves. Whether these sort of actions are above them or even below them I do not know._

_The morning started off normally. For about five minutes. I had joined Albus and Minerva in the Great Hall for breakfast. While enjoying my cup of coffee, it began to wobble. With a loud croak, a frog leaped out of my goblet and settled atop my head._

_It was such a juvenile prank that I pushed the thought aside to some brave, though stupid, first years. _

_However that little frog did not help my mood as this morning I had a class with Harry Potter and his Gryffindor annoyances. During the class, the instructions I left the numbskulls with on my chalkboard were often changing. Instead of three teaspoons of mashed scarab beetles, it changed to three teaspoons mashed potatoes._

_Again, another childish prank even for any Hogwarts prankster. Though I must admit, the resulting confusion from all the changing instructions was a little funny._

_Until the Weasley boy's cauldron exploded, showering the class with a mess of gooey, pink, raspberry scented shampoo. I would have much preferred confetti. Or some sort of lethal corrosive potion residue._

_I have been followed by the scent of raspberries all day long._

_I had sincerely hoped that whomever felt the desire to torment me, and spend the rest of their school life in detention, had left me be. During the rest of the day I only had to endure snickers from students and faculty. But tonight was my night to keep watch until 11 P.M. with Argus Filch tonight._

_The night went along very smoothly. Surprisingly there were no students out of bed. However, about a quarter of an hour before I was to be relieved, I heard someone try to catch my attention. "Psst!" I glanced around but saw no one. It would not have been Potter under his cloak because he would not be trying to get my attention._

"_Psst!" The sound came more urgently._

"_What do you want?" I hissed. I figured it was Peeves since I could see no one._

"_You smell really, really pretty!"_

_I turned behind me, wand at the ready to hex whatever student decided they were smart enough to mess with me. The only thing behind me was a suit of armor. Before I turned my back to it, it began to shake and giggle. Someone had hexed the armor and I have no idea who could know such magic other than faculty. Or the know-it-all Granger girl. But pranks are beyond her. Unless Potter or Weasley put her up to it._

_So I have no suspects right now save for the obvious. I have hopes this silly notebook will help me sort my thoughts._

Shutting the notebook, Snape locked it safely away in his desk before retiring to bed. His last thought before dozing off was that whomever was trying to prank him was just a novice. He could handle it.


	2. Chapter 2

Diary of Torment

**Note: I don't know how long this will go on or how long each chapter will be but it's turning out to be very fun.**

Severus Snape surveyed his private office with a scowl. Vials had been smashed, parchment had been strewn about, his emerald green ink had been spilled all over the desk and floor, and what appeared to be a girl's shoe was in the midst of the chaos.

Sure he could clean up with a single swish of his wand, but that was not the point! The day had already been rough and there were still hours of daylight to go.

Clearing the room, and hoping that shoe hit its owner on the head upon its return, he locked the door and went over to the desk. Unlocking the drawer holding the Muggle notebook, he sat down and began to write.

_Day 2 3:37 P.M._

_This person who has decided to prank me struck again today. My morning started with no frogs in my breakfast but as I was heading towards the Great Hall I heard a crash. Someone had sent one of the chandelier's crashing to the ground. As I was the only person in the area, everyone who had been eating their breakfast peered out of the hall and found myself covered in glass and fragments._

_And only me. That I did put off to Peeves because it had become a hobby of his._

_Though with this string of pranks I might be wrong._

_After ignoring Filch, who shared my blame of the school poltergeist, I entered my classroom only to find that my potion ingredients had been replaced by foods and spices._

_There was also a note. It read **You had better teach the class to be Muggle cooking artists, Sev. It's the only thing many of these nitwits are good for!**_

_While I did agree with this author, something about it bothered me. The use of the nickname Sev. Who would come up with that? It's been quite some time. Nearly everyone I know calls me Severus, if not just Snape._

_But the worst, the absolute worst, I discovered in my private office. Nearly every single item in my possession in my private office had been ransacked, thrown about, destroyed! And what do I find in the middle of it? That annoying Ravenclaw Luna Lovegood! Apparently someone told her there was a Blathering Humperdink or whatever nonsense living in my office and she was bound to find it._

_When I asked who put such an idea in her empty head, she just smiled innocently at me and bounced off, sans her left shoe._

_I think I will skip dinner and retire to my quarters, less something else happen today. I am no further in finding who is behind this than when I started. Thank you very bloody much you silly notebook!_

Replacing the notebook and locking the drawer, Snape stood and wondered whether or not he should take this up with the Headmaster. Or perhaps Dumbledore himself was behind this?

No, while the old man was off his rocker, Snape highly doubted he would get enjoyment from this nonsense. Or would he? He decided it would be best to keep things to himself for now.


End file.
